Monday, October 11, 2010

11/10/2010-1 years after d-day he went away..

U're in my heart..always.

Hmm..xtau sbnrnyer ape yg aku cube nk tulis..but i'll try ma best.. Tatkala org bpusu2 nk tempah tarikh keramat 10.10.10.. aku?? Hmm..xphm ape yg keramat nyer tarikh nie.. Todays..feel so sad. Since last nite lagi sbnrnyer. Smlm alarm brthday handphone berbunyi..exactly on 00:00:00...means exactky 12 midnight. Sedih..today 11/10/2010 supposed to be his birthday.. Happy birthday bapis..slalunye time2 mcm ni..mesti aku dh wish kt ko..huhu.. ina rinduuu sangat2 ngn bapis!! Yela..even though kite slalu gaduh n jealous with each other.. But still..we know that we will always support each other klau one of us having problems kan.. I miss u..really.. i do. I'M REALLY SORRY!!! coz since the day u past away..hanye skali ina jenguk bapis kt sne. Not dat i'm forget bout u..ntahla.. Not dat i'm not redha with the takdir.. But..it's juz been hard for me to actually dealing with the fact that u're gone. I'm still gathering all my energy and insanity to actually go n visit u there. I wish that i will find it soon..hope so. 

   Kjap je kan..pejam celik mase blalu. Already almost 1 year since you left us. I'll try my best to keep mak hepi. I know how much she loves u.. it's hard to pretend and keep myself strong in front of her..especially now k.ct already mjauhkn dri from us. Dunno y.. Took over all your responsibility as a brother has been hard for me.. Cube utk jadi cth yg terbaik utk adik2 kite juge amat susah.. Its even hard for me to keeps on writing it down now..my tears just when down like a rain falling from the sky..haha. Hate this! U know what..smlm balong kawen..bln 7 aritu bangah yg kawen..sedih n happy at the same time for them. Mlm bangah nikah..dye pkai bju mlayu putih.. dunno why i keep seeing u in him at that time..n dats make my tears kluar lagi.. ssh..sgt ssh utk accept dat fact. Even after 1 year..

  And i've changed...since u're gone. I'm not the same person anymore.. Dlu mase ina ade probs or susah hati..i juz spend my time with u..even kt hospital. Ina akn singgah jenguk bapis.. never knew it would be our last goodbye dat evening.. Sejam ina kt carpark pas tgk bapis ptg tu.. xsanggup tgk u in pain.. Hati rse xsdap sgt..tp kna balik utk bg news kt mak. I shouldn't have left u..tu decision yg plg ina regret until today.. Ina janji akn jaga kluarga kite smpai bile2.. Hingga tibe mase ina mampu utk mziarah pusara bapis lagi satu hari nnt..hanya maaf dan iringan doa yg mampu ina kirim utk bapis kt sana.. Ina syg bapis..even dlm mimpi tu pon ina dh bgtau kn..it feels so real. And i hope it was real..n u know how i really feel bout u.. Salam syg..ina.


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